Make sure your love is unconditional. Make sure you love people in all kinds of "weather". Or else what is the use if we love a person only when he is good or she is nice? When I need the people most that's when they leave me. All the time. So please, I hope you won't be like that. We always have to consider the other party, your companion's situation and mood. Maybe he's in difficulty right now. That's why his mood is not so sweet.
Maybe she has so much work to do and so many headaches, so she cannot be so darling like usual. That time is the time when we need to show our most noble quality, the way we want ourselves to be.
要確定你的愛是沒有條件的,要確定你在任何狀況下、不論晴雨,都能愛人。如果我們只有在一個人好的時候才愛他,這樣有什么用呢?當(dāng)我最需要人的時候,他們反而要離開我,情況總是如此,所以我希望你們不要像那樣。我們必須考慮對方或同伴的情況和心情,也許他正有困難,所以才無法保持美好的心情,也許她有太多事要做,太多頭痛的事,所以才無法像平常那樣親愛,而這時正是該展現(xiàn)我們所自我期許的最高貴品質(zhì)的時候了。
It's not that if you are sweet to that person then he will love you more. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But that is not the point to be good and to be noble. To be good, to be noble is for ourselves because we choose to be that way, we want to keep being that way, and we feel good about it. It's not because, "Okay, now he needs me more. If I show more sympathy, then our love will be stronger"; It's not even to be considered.
并不是你對一個人很甜,他就會更愛你,也許他會,也許不會,不過這不是使我們美好或高雅的重點(diǎn)所在。美好或高雅是為了我們自己,因?yàn)槲覀冞x擇成為那樣的人,我們希望保持那樣,我們覺得那樣比較好。并不是說:「好,因?yàn)樗F(xiàn)在比較有需要,所以我表現(xiàn)多一點(diǎn)同情心,我們的愛情就會比較穩(wěn)固。」這甚至不是我們該考慮的事。
But most of the time we fail the test. When people are in most difficulty, we just leave them, or we are cold and indifferent. "Oh, you're not nice to me. All right, all right.";"You'll come and need me soon."; Of course they will. When they're in a better mood, when everything goes better, of course they'll come around. But then it's too late. Then it is not love anymore. It's just a need for each other. That's different, because you are used to each other and you need each other sometimes out of habit, out of convenience, out of financial security reasons -- anything. But it's not true love.
我們大部分的時候都無法通過這種考驗(yàn),當(dāng)別人正值最困難的時期,我們反而離開他們,或是顯得冷淡、漠不關(guān)心,認(rèn)為:「好,你不對我好,沒關(guān)系,沒關(guān)系,很快你就會回過頭來需要我!巩(dāng)然他們會,當(dāng)他們心情比較好,當(dāng)事情比較順利之后,他們當(dāng)然會回到你身邊來,只不過那時就太遲了,就不再是愛了,只是彼此需要而已,那是不一樣的!只是由于習(xí)慣、由于方便、或是經(jīng)濟(jì)安全因素而彼此需要而已,這不是真愛。
True Love Always Prevails 真愛勝過一切
True love is we stick together in "thick and thin";. Especially when it's thin, when it's troublesome. Then we should really bridge over the "troubled water". That's what they say in English. But most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our partners. He might leave you, he might stay with you, because you're nice or not nice. But you fail yourself. You leave yourself. You leave the most noble being that you really are. So we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. Most of the time in critical situations, we just turn our backs and that is no good.
真愛是不管情況好壞都在一起,特別是當(dāng)情況不好、有麻煩時,更應(yīng)該如俗話所說的「兵來將擋,水來土掩」,想辦法克服困難。但是大部分人都不能通過這項(xiàng)考驗(yàn)而背離了自己,而不是背離了我們的伴侶。因?yàn)椴徽撃愫没虿缓茫愕陌閭H留下或是離開,是你自己通不過考驗(yàn),背離了你自己,背棄了內(nèi)在真正高貴的你,所以我們應(yīng)該檢查自己對家人或任何我們所鐘愛的人的關(guān)系,通常在關(guān)鍵的時刻我們反而背棄他們,這樣很不好。
Of course we have our anger, our frustrations, because our partners are not as loving as usual, or whomever that is; but he or she is in a different situation. At that time, she or he is in mental suffering. It's just as bad or even worse than physical suffering. Physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right away; or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with them.
當(dāng)然我們也會覺得生氣、挫折,因?yàn)槲覀兊陌閭H不再像以前一樣可愛,不過這是因?yàn)樗ㄋ┱幵诓煌臓顩r,精神正受煎熬。精神痛苦和生理的痛苦一樣難受,有時候甚至更糟。生理的痛苦可以藉吃藥或打針來制止,至少可以暫時止痛,可以馬上見效;或者至少身體受苦時,大家都會同情她。
But when they are in mental anguish, and we pound them more on that, and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even more cruel, even worse. That person will be swimming alone in suffering. And especially they trust us as the next of kin, the next person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish, because they didn't treat us nice so we just want to revenge. That's not the time. You can revenge later, when he's in better shape. Just slap him.
可是當(dāng)有人處在心理的極度痛苦時,我們卻落井下石,背棄他,變得冷漠不關(guān)心,這是更殘忍、更糟糕的事,那個人就只能孤孤單單地在痛苦中掙扎。尤其他們信任我們是最親密的人,認(rèn)為在需要時可以信靠,可是我們卻很勢利轉(zhuǎn)身離去,只是因?yàn)樗麄儾辉賹ξ覀兒没蚴俏覀冎皇窍胍獔髲?fù)。這真不是時候!你可以等一下再報復(fù),等他好一點(diǎn)時,打他一巴掌。
Actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. He was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. It's not really lost his own control, but for example, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. Right? "Hand me that coat! Quick! Quick! Quick!" Things like that. But normally, you would say "Honey, please, can you give me that coat." Is that not so? (Audience: Yes.) Or when you're in pain -- for example stomach pain, heartache or whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you don't talk in the usual way anymore, because you're in pain.
事實(shí)上,那時候那個人已經(jīng)不再是平常的他,可能已因壓力極大而失去控制;也不完全是失去控制,而是像當(dāng)你很匆忙時,說話的語氣自然會不一樣,你會說:「拿外衣給我,快快快!」而在平常你則會說:「親愛的,能不能請你拿那件外衣給我!故遣皇沁@樣?(大眾答:是)或當(dāng)你在痛苦時,像是胃痛或頭痛時你會大叫,人家來看你時你也無法像平常那樣談話,因?yàn)槟阏吹貌坏昧恕?
Similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross. But that is understandable. So if we -- any so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then we're finished. Then we are really in a bad situation. It's not that the partner will do anything to us. Whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem. The problem is us. The problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. So do not make less of a being of yourselves.
同樣的,當(dāng)你處在精神或心理的疼痛時,你的談話自然會顯得粗暴,但這是可以理解的。如果我們這些所謂的愛的伴侶或家人不知道這最起碼、最基本的觀念,我們就完了,我們會很糟糕。并非另一半會對我們怎樣,無論對方以后有沒有對我們怎樣,那都不是問題,問題是在我們自己--我們貶低了自己,不配自己應(yīng)有的身分,所以千萬不要貶低自己。