We have all launched ourselves on the road to happiness. We are obsessed with the pursuit of it, but all too often, we become discouraged. We struggle and bumble our way along, but somehow happiness continues to elude us.

Part of the problem is that the term, happiness, is kind of vague. We set off on our search for it before we know what it is or how to obtain it. Many of us have created a monster with our relentless pursuit of happiness. We’ve chosen this broad and mighty goal “HAPPINESS” and then we set about trying to achieve it by eliminating all of the negative aspects of our lives, identifying our one true passion, divining our life’s purpose and setting out to achieve our life’s dreams…all before lunch. Then we wonder why it isn’t working.

And yet, it is true that the pursuit of happiness is worth the effort. Research has shown that positive emotions have not just the benefit of momentary pleasure, but of long-term well-being also. Positive emotions bring us pleasure, counteract the damaging effects of negative emotions, build resilience and promote long-term physical and emotional health. (See my prior post on The Power of Positive Emotions) We don’t want to give up on happiness, but we do need to find an easier way.

As we all know, when we have a big goal, it helps to break it down into smaller pieces. If we think of happiness as an overarching emotional state that is created by the presence of other, positive emotions, the process of achieving happiness becomes less daunting.

Joy, contentedness, love, interest, and satisfaction are some of the positive emotions that lead us to feel happy. The more we experience these positive emotions, the happier we’ll be.

Easy so far, right? But how do we cultivate positive emotions? That’s easy too, if you’re willing to let it be.

When we engage in activities or spend time with people (or animals) that we like, we tend to feel positive emotions. You might experience joy when you tickle your baby and make him smile, or feel interest when you read the editorial section of the paper or feel content when you snuggle up with your husband to watch a movie. There are many things in our lives that generate positive emotions. Simply put, the more time you spend engaged in activities that induce positive emotion, the more positive emotion you will feel and the more likely you will be to achieve an overall sense of happiness.

To get you started I’ve included a very generic list of ideas for ways that you can invite more positive emotion into your life. You will, of course, put your own, personal spin on these and identify the specific people or activities that will bring about positive emotion in you. These are just ideas to get you started thinking:

Exercise.

Okay, no groaning now. Exercise, beyond making you more fit, also brings about the release of endorphins. This is a “feel good” chemical that is produced in your body. Now come on, who doesn’t want to feel good? You might like lifting weights or running or prefer to join a local basketball league. Any moderately strenuous physical activity counts.

Spend Time With Others.

Time spent with people (not just any people, but upbeat, positive people) can bring about feelings of joy, love, interest etc. Go out with your friends, visit with family, chat with the mailman. Don’t feel like talking? Just smile at people once in a while…when they smile back, which they will do most of the time, see if it doesn’t make you feel good.

Don’t forget your animal friends either. Playing with the dog, watching the birds or rabbits in the back yard or even chatting with your son’s pet hamster can make you feel more content or even make you laugh. (Yes, I do talk to my son’s hamster and my daughter’s as well…is that a problem?)

Quiet Your Mind.

Formal meditation, prayer or even just sitting with your eyes closed for a few minutes can bring about relaxation and a sense of inner peace.

Spend Time in Nature.

I’ve written ad nauseum about the benefits of time spent in nature over at BetweenUsGirls. Suffice it to say that nature, whether a hike in the woods or simply gazing at the river from your office window, can bring about relaxation, feelings of connectedness, and even spark creativity. While there is much research to prove that time in or near nature has a positive impact on mood, I am sure that you don’t need proof. It isn’t often that I run across a person who hasn’t experienced the soothing effects of nature for his- or herself.

Express Yourself.

Creative expression of any kind (art, crafts, cooking, decorating, writing) can bring along a great deal of positive emotion. Your work doesn’t have to be good…you just have to enjoy doing it.

Have Fun.

This might mean making more time for your hobbies, taking up a new hobby, spending more time with friends or quick-and-easy activities like seeing a movie, going to a concert or texting back and forth with someone who always makes you laugh. Anything that engages your interest or makes you laugh or smile.

Volunteer Work.

Quite often, doing things that help others, brings feelings of joy and accomplishment. Making someone else feel good often makes us feel just as good.

Now, there you go. Seven very good general ideas that can be made into a multitude of specific ones for generating positive emotion. I’m sure that now that you’re thinking, you’ll come up with some other original ideas. If you do, share them with us…please!

The older I get, the more that I realize that it really is the little things that make us happy. Becoming a happier person doesn’t have to be hard work. Remember, one step at a time. Have lunch with a friend, take a walk in the woods, play with the dog, see a funny movie. Every time you engage in an activity that peaks your interest, makes you smile or gets your endorphins flowing, it’s like money in the bank. A little laugh here, a loving hug there and before you know it you’ve become the happy person you’ve always wanted to be without hardly trying.

我們一直在人生的路上尋找幸福。為了它，我們不顧一切，然而大多時候，我們變得灰心喪氣。我們越是努力的去尋找它，幸福越是離我們遠(yuǎn)去。

一部分原因是我們對幸福的含義認(rèn)識模糊造成的。我們在不清楚什么是幸福和如何獲得幸福的情況下就開始了對幸福的盲目追求。在對幸福的麻木的追求中，我們中的大多數(shù)已經(jīng)變得畸形。我們選擇了一個廣泛而有力的目標(biāo)“幸福”，然后我們努力去實現(xiàn)它并且排除生活中所有的消極因素，認(rèn)清我們生命中唯一真正的激情，預(yù)言生活的本質(zhì)，實現(xiàn)生命的夢想... ...所有的這些都在午飯之前進行。然后我們再考慮為什么根本不起作用呢。

誠然，對幸福的追求是需要付出努力的。研究人員指出積極的情緒并非獲益于短暫的愉悅而是長久的康樂安寧。積極的情緒帶給我們愉悅，低調(diào)掉消極情緒的破壞性，鍛煉成為有彈性且增長的長期的身體和精神健康。（見我的上篇郵件：積極情感的力量）我們不會希望放棄追求幸福，但我們需要更為簡單的途徑。

眾所周知，如果我們有一個長遠(yuǎn)的目標(biāo)，把它分解為多部分是很有用的。如果我們把幸�？醋魇且环N由積極的情感所產(chǎn)生的支配性情感的狀態(tài)的話，那么對幸福的追求就會變得輕松許多。

歡樂，滿足，愛，興趣和滿意都是能使我們感受到快樂的積極情感。我們對這些積極的情感感受的越多，我們就會變得越快樂。

到目前為止是很簡單的，不是嗎？但是我們應(yīng)該如何培養(yǎng)積極地情感呢？這當(dāng)然也很簡單，如果你愿意去做的話。

當(dāng)我們與喜歡的人（或動物）在一起做一些事情或呆在一起的時候，我們會感受到積極的情緒。你或許給你的小孩子撓癢癢逗他笑的時候體驗過樂趣，或者在讀報紙上的一篇社論的時候感到很有趣，或者跟丈夫依偎著一起看電影的時候感到滿足。在我們的生活中無時無刻不產(chǎn)生著積極地情感。簡單的說，你花越多的時間去做一些包含積極情感的事情，你就會感受到越多的積極情感，你就會得到越多的幸福感。

為了幫助你開始，我收集了一些能夠幫你從生活中找到積極情感的方法并組成下列表單。你將會通過你自己個人的調(diào)整來鑒別能夠帶給你積極情緒的一些特定的人或事。方法如下：

運動

好了，不要表現(xiàn)出滿不在乎的樣子。運動，不僅僅是使你保持體型那么簡單，它可以帶來內(nèi)啡肽的釋放。這是你的身體所產(chǎn)生的“愉悅感”的化學(xué)物質(zhì)。讓我們繼續(xù)，誰不想感覺愉悅呢？你或許喜歡舉重，跑步或者參加當(dāng)?shù)氐幕@球隊。任何一種適度緊張的體育運動都是可以的。

與他人相處

多花時間與他人在一起（并不是任何人，而是樂觀積極的人），可以帶給你歡樂，愛，樂趣。與朋友們一起出游，拜訪他人的家庭，與郵遞員聊天。不喜歡聊天？那就偶爾對他們微笑......當(dāng)他們沖你微笑的時候，他們的大部分時間里會這么做，看是否會讓你感受到愉悅。

當(dāng)然也不要忘記你的動物朋友們。與狗狗玩耍，在后院看看鳥兒和小兔子，或者與你兒子的寵物倉鼠聊聊天，這些都可以使你感受到滿足或讓你開懷大笑。（對！我要跟兒子的倉鼠聊天和女兒的...這難道是問題？）

平靜內(nèi)心

真正的冥思，祈禱或只是閉目養(yǎng)神幾分鐘都可以帶給你輕松感和內(nèi)心的平靜。

接近自然

我曾經(jīng)在BetweenUsGirls上寫過一篇關(guān)于與自然相處的文章。在自然中盡量的舒展自己，不管是在叢林中的徒步旅行或者僅僅是在辦公室窗外遠(yuǎn)眺河流，都可以帶給你輕松感，平衡感甚至朝氣蓬勃的感覺。盡管在自然中或靠近自然是否會對情緒有積極的作用有待進一步研究認(rèn)證，我想你就不需要驗證了吧。我?guī)缀鯊膩頉]有遇到一個接近自然卻沒有感受到舒緩體驗的人。

表達自己

創(chuàng)造性表達其中的任何一種（藝術(shù)，雕刻，烹飪，裝飾，書畫）都會帶給你積極地情感。你不需要去做的多好，只需要從中得到樂趣。

找樂子

就是說你要多花點時間來做你所愛好的事情，找到一個新的愛好，多花點時間跟朋友在一起或者做一些簡單而靈活的事情，例如去看一場電影，去聽一場音樂會或者跟某個總能逗你開心大笑的人發(fā)短信。無論哪個都能使你保持興趣或者讓你微笑甚至大笑。

義工

通常來說，幫助別人能給自己帶來愉悅感和成就感。這就是送人玫瑰，手留余香的道理吧。

現(xiàn)在開始去執(zhí)行吧！在追求積極的情緒的過程中，七條淺顯易懂的道理會演變成眾多的個例。我相信既然你會思考，你就會有其他獨創(chuàng)性的想法。如果你有，請讓我們一起分享吧......

年紀(jì)愈大，我愈能真正體會到是小事讓我們開心。要成為一個快樂的人并不需要做出多偉大的事兒。記住，循序漸進。與好友一起進餐，在樹林里散步，與狗狗戲耍，看一場搞笑的電影。每次你在做引發(fā)你興趣的事情的時候都會使你開心的微笑或者使你的內(nèi)啡肽得以釋放，就好像在銀行存錢一樣。一次開懷大笑，一次真心的擁抱，不知不覺中你已經(jīng)輕松成為你曾夢想過的快樂的人。