In the beginning, everything's roses . . . then the thorns start to grow: damaging behaviors that diminish trust and destroy love. Watch out for these 13 relationship killers.

Thorn 1: Not Listening
In the beginning, you both hung on every word, but what has happened as time has gone by? Do you still show your partner courtesy by listening closely?

Thorn 2: Forgetting to Say "I Love You"
Don't assume that your partner knows you love them. Keep saying it, thus reinforcing the bonds of love.

Thorn 3: Forgetting to Do Nice Things for Your Partner
The song, "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" struck a chord with many people. Remember to treat that someone special just as they truly are, special.

Thorn 4: Minimizing What's Important to the Other Person.
One of the fastest ways to destroy a relationship is to fail to pay attention to what concerns your partner. If something is important to them, it should be important to you--even if you are not personally interested in it. You need to make it your business, rather than downplaying it or treating it as though it is lightweight and doesn't matter.

Thorn 5: Blowing Off Requests
When your partner asks you to do something, do you do your best to do it or do you delay, putting it off and then accusing them of nagging you when they are forced to remind you?

Thorn 6: Criticizing Your Partner
Criticism crushes trust and can make a partner wary. If you've gone from being your partner's best advocate to an adversary, you need to look at what has changed and seek to correct it, before it damages the relationship.

Thorn 7: Snapping at Your Partner
You wouldn't do this on your first couple of dates so don't get into the habit as time goes by. Your partner deserves respect--even when you are stressed or angry.

Thorn 8: Accusing Your Partner
Don't assume your partner has done something. Watch how you phrase your questions. Instead of "What did you do with my . . . ?" or "You must have moved it." Rephrase this to "Have you seen my . . . ?"or "I wonder what I did with it?"

Thorn 9: Refusing to Communicate or Work at Bettering Communication
Lack of communication has been said to be one of the most challenging relationship problem's couples face. Men and women have different communication styles; however, it is necessary to develop effective communication patterns because communication works as a kind of relationship cement. When one party withdraws and refuses to discuss problems, you can bet that a whole host of other problems will develop.

Thorn 10: Refusing to Compromise
Some people seem to feel that it's their way or no way. This might work in the schoolyard but it shouldn't be part of an adult relationship. Each person has to be willing to give so that a compromise is reached that is satisfactory to both parties. Couples should get stuck on the solution over getting struck by the problem.

Thorn 11: Not Spending Enough Time With Your Partner
In some relationships, the television or the computer becomes the main focus of attention. While there's nothing wrong with spreading your attention elsewhere, pay attention that your attention doesn't stray for too long or too often--or you may find that all you'll be left with for companionship is that television or computer. Not spending enough time with your partner sends a message that they aren't that important to you.

Thorn 12: Lying to Your Partner
Some people actually believe that they can lie and won't get caught out. How can you ask your partner to trust you if you lie to them? Do you earn their trust or destroy it?

Thorn 13: Cheating On Your Partner

Cheating is one of the most damaging behaviors around, one that is sure to destroy your partner's trust. Yet, many do it. If you subscribe to the philosophy that you can love one person and be intimate with another, you'd better take a hard look at the depth of love you profess to feel. If you really loved someone, you would not risk breaking their heart for transitory pleasure. The saying, "But it didn't mean anything," will come back to haunt you when you see just what it will mean: separation, divorce, legal costs, loss of friends and family, loss of others' respect when word gets out.

All couples face relationship issues but how each person decides to act on a daily basis will set the tone for future happiness or for relationship problems. By adopting constructive behavioral patterns, your relationship will blossom instead of being damaged and choked out by thorns.

愛(ài)情伊始，芳香玫瑰處處盛開(kāi)，接著花刺漸露猙獰，信任漸失，愛(ài)情枯萎。愛(ài)情是珍貴的精神之花，如何使這鮮花持久盛放呢？要小心以下十三種愛(ài)情殺手：

第一：不再傾聽(tīng)伴侶說(shuō)話(huà)
開(kāi)始的時(shí)候，你們傾聽(tīng)伴侶的每一句話(huà)，有一種變化隨著時(shí)間而發(fā)生，你還用心傾聽(tīng)你的伴侶表現(xiàn)你的關(guān)愛(ài)嗎？

第二：不再說(shuō)“我愛(ài)你”
別假定你的伴侶知道你愛(ài)他（她），要經(jīng)常告訴對(duì)方“我愛(ài)你”，這是加強(qiáng)愛(ài)情的紐帶。

第三：不再做讓伴侶開(kāi)心的事
那首“你不再給我鮮花”觸痛很多人的心。記住，永遠(yuǎn)用特別的方式對(duì)待那個(gè)特別的人。

第四：忽視你伴侶重視的事情
有一種辦法可以很快毀掉愛(ài)情--忽視你伴侶關(guān)心的事情。如果某事對(duì)你伴侶重要，那它也應(yīng)該對(duì)你重要--即使你本人一點(diǎn)也不感興趣。你要把它看成自己的事情，而不是忽視或輕視它。

第五：遲遲不履行伴侶的要求
當(dāng)你的伴侶要求你幫忙做某事時(shí)，你應(yīng)該努力盡快做到最好，而不是拖延，當(dāng)他們提醒你時(shí)，你又指責(zé)他們嘮叨。

第六：挑剔你的伴侶
挑剔毀掉信任，讓你的伴侶心生警惕。如果你已經(jīng)從最好的支持者變成對(duì)手，你就需要好好想想是什么改變了，在它毀掉愛(ài)情之前，努力糾正它。

第七：對(duì)你的伴侶很粗魯
剛開(kāi)始約會(huì)的時(shí)候，你肯定是不會(huì)對(duì)你伴侶粗魯無(wú)禮的。那么記住，即使隨著時(shí)間你們已很熟悉，你也不要養(yǎng)成粗魯?shù)牧?xí)慣，你的伴侶永遠(yuǎn)值得你的尊敬--即使是在你有很大壓力或心中有怒火時(shí)。

第八：指責(zé)你的伴侶
不要假定你的伴侶已經(jīng)做了某事，要注意說(shuō)話(huà)的藝術(shù)，不要說(shuō)“你對(duì)我的xx做了什么”或“你一定動(dòng)過(guò)它了”，而要說(shuō)“你看到過(guò)我的xx嗎”或“我不記得我對(duì)它做了什么”。

第九：拒絕溝通或不再努力更好的溝通
缺乏溝通是伴侶間最有挑戰(zhàn)性的問(wèn)題。男人和女人有不同的溝通方式，但無(wú)論如何，建立有效的溝通方式是非常必要的，因?yàn)闇贤ㄊ菒?ài)情粘著劑。如果一方退縮，拒絕溝通，那么其他問(wèn)題必然隨之而出。

第十：拒絕妥協(xié)
有些人覺(jué)得要么按他們的方式辦事要么就絕對(duì)沒(méi)門(mén)，這在校園里是行得通的，但在成人關(guān)系里肯定行不通。每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該做出一些犧牲，從而達(dá)成讓雙方都滿(mǎn)意的妥協(xié)。伴侶們應(yīng)該努力找解決方法而不是堅(jiān)持陷在問(wèn)題里。

第十一：和伴侶在一起的時(shí)間很少
在某些兩性關(guān)系里，電視或電腦變成關(guān)注焦點(diǎn)。關(guān)注別的東西沒(méi)什么不對(duì)，但要注意不要太久，否則你可能只剩下電視或電腦相伴了。陪伴伴侶的時(shí)間太少會(huì)讓他們覺(jué)得他們對(duì)你不重要。

第十二：對(duì)你的伴侶撒謊
有些人認(rèn)為，他們可以撒謊并且不會(huì)被識(shí)破。如果你對(duì)伴侶撒謊，你又怎么能期待他們信任你呢？你想獲得他們的信任還是想毀了它？

第十三：欺騙你的伴侶
欺騙是最有殺傷力的行為，百分之一百毀掉你伴侶的信任，但仍然有好多人欺騙伴侶。如果你認(rèn)為你可以同時(shí)愛(ài)兩個(gè)人，那你就應(yīng)該好好思考你所謂的愛(ài)情到底有多深。如果你真愛(ài)某人，你就不會(huì)為了一時(shí)之樂(lè)而傷害伴侶。你認(rèn)為沒(méi)什么大不了的事情最后可能會(huì)讓你傷透腦筋：分居、離婚、律師費(fèi)、失去家人朋友，失去人們的尊敬等等。

所以的伴侶都面臨此類(lèi)事情，而如何去處理將會(huì)決定你們未來(lái)是幸�；虺霈F(xiàn)問(wèn)題。如果你們采取健康積極的行為方式，你們的愛(ài)情之花會(huì)愈加艷麗而不是枯萎死去