We too often define "romantic" in women's terms--sending flowers and cards, saving mementos and putting them in a box or scrapbook, gushing over chick romance movies, or listening to romantic songs all day.

    我們通常用女性的方式定義"浪漫"--贈送鮮花和卡片，收集紀念品并且把它們放在小盒子里面或者做成剪貼板，對少女類的浪漫電影喋喋不休，或者整天聽浪漫的音樂。

    Men may not do these things, but many men do something more romantic than all that: they keep their love in their hearts forever.

    男人們也許不會做這些事兒，但是許多男人做的事兒比這些更浪漫：他們會將愛人永遠記在心里。

    My survey of 3000 men and women worldwide who tried reunions with lost loves asked, "How long did it take for you to get over your lost love?" Responses from the men indicated that they took significantly longer to get over their lost loves than the women. Some of the men were not satisfied with the survey choices: the last choice listed was, "Over 10 years." Only men crossed out all the choices and wrote, "I never got over her!" While no doubt some women never got over their lost loves, either, only men wrote this comment on the survey.

    我調(diào)查詢問了3000個全世界的男女，他們正在試圖與失去的戀人破鏡重圓。"你們需要多少時間從失戀中恢復(fù)過來？"男人們的回答表明，他們需要的時間比女性明顯要長。一些男人對我調(diào)查中的選項不滿意：最多只有"超過十年".只有男人劃掉了所有的選項，然后寫到，"我從來沒有從她那兒恢復(fù)過來！"盡管一些女性也毫無疑問從未從他失去的愛人的哀傷中恢復(fù)過來，但是，只有男人寫下了這種評論。

    Adolescent boys are "not supposed" to cry over lost loves. But many of my male participants reported that, after their high school girlfriends broke up with them, they cried in private, every night, for months.

    青春期的小男生從未被認為會因為失去愛人而哭泣。但是許多接受調(diào)查的男性表示，當他們高中時期的女朋友和他們分手時，他們私底下在每一個夜晚偷偷地哭泣，而且持續(xù)好幾個月。

    My lost love reunion findings about romantic men paralleled results of my survey of adults who never tried lost love reunions. There were significantly more men than women who chose to fill out the survey, and they expressed strong feelings for their first loves, even though they had not contacted these women （and may never do so）.

    我對于那些試圖重歸于好的浪漫男人的調(diào)查結(jié)果與我的另一項調(diào)查結(jié)果相符，在那項調(diào)查匯總，他們重未試圖去與失去的愛人聯(lián)系。選擇填寫這項調(diào)查的人中，男人比女人明顯要多，而且他們表達了對第一個愛人深深的情感，即使他們再未和那些女人聯(lián)系（也許永遠也不會了）.

    Posts on the Message Board of my web site, Lostlovers.com, are more represented by women than men. But appearances are misleading. Actually, there are more men who are members of my site than women. The men don't post as often as the women, but they are reading! Men more often sign up for private phone consultations to talk about their lost loves than women.

    在我的網(wǎng)頁lostlovers.com上，女性比男性回帖更多，但這只是表面現(xiàn)象。事實上，訪問我的網(wǎng)站的男人比女人要多。男人們不經(jīng)常回應(yīng)，但是他們閱讀！男人們更多會就他們失去愛人一事和我進行私人的電話咨詢。

    But it is a rare men's magazine that will print a story about love and romance. The editors tell me that they think men are uninterested. Not so! When my research was quoted in Playboy, it generated a lot of responses.

    但是很少有男性雜志出版關(guān)于愛與浪漫的文章。編輯們告訴我他們認為男性不會對此感興趣。但事實并非如此！當我的研究被《花花公子》引用后，它產(chǎn)生了大量的回應(yīng)。

    On occasions where romance is expected （such as Valentine's Day, birthdays or anniversaries）, we should all remember to separate emotions from behaviors. Men may not make scrapbooks of mementos of their love experiences, but they are every bit as loving, loyal, and yes, romantic, as women--and sometimes more so!

    在一些被認為必須浪漫的時刻，比如情人節(jié)、生日或者紀念日，我們應(yīng)該記住將感情與行為相區(qū)分。男人們也許不會做展現(xiàn)他和戀人共渡時光的剪貼簿，但是他們會和女人一樣去愛，一樣忠誠，并且一樣浪漫--有時，他們甚至比女人更浪漫！