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Therapist Frank Pittman believes virtually all cheaters deeply regret straying. "Infidelity is the most devastating crisis for a family," said Pittman. "It creates an atmosphere of simmering anger, secrets and dishonesty," he says. Some estimates suggest half of divorces involve infidelity. But Pittman says couples can take preventive steps. Here are some pointers and tips: 1. Stay faithful yourself If you don't want your spouse to stray, don't have an affair, either. Many affairs are sparked by revenge. 2. Don't marry a cheater If your husband strayed from his former wife to be with you, then he could leave you for someone else. 3. Normalize lust It's OK to be attracted to other people; just don't act on it. It's also acceptable to let your spouse know you find a celeb attractive. But don't let your eye wander checking out every hottie that walks by. 4. Don't share your marital woes with co-workers They may be sick of hearing about it and say "If you don't like her, divorce her", just to be done with it. Or it can pull you and another disgruntled spouse closer together. 5. If you're thinking about having an affair, the best thing you can do is telling your spouse. "You can say, 'I have noticed we have not had sex in a year,' " says Pittman. This way they can work on intimacy issues and prevent the affair. 6. Stay off the computer If you are intimately connected to someone online, that's a red flag. Focus more on the intimacy in your relationship at home. |
治療學(xué)家弗蘭克·皮特曼認(rèn)為，幾乎所有的婚姻背叛者都會(huì)為自己的出軌深感后悔。 皮特曼說(shuō)：“對(duì)于一個(gè)家庭來(lái)說(shuō)，不忠貞是個(gè)最具毀滅性的危機(jī)。它會(huì)讓家庭充滿(mǎn)怨恨、猜忌和欺騙。” 據(jù)估計(jì)，有一半的婚姻破裂都是由不忠造成的。而皮特曼醫(yī)生說(shuō)，夫婦們可采取一些預(yù)防性措施。以下是一些具體的意見(jiàn)和建議： 1． 自己要保持忠貞 如果不想讓配偶出軌，你自己也要忠貞。很多婚外情都緣于報(bào)復(fù)。 2．不要嫁給“負(fù)心郎”。 如果你的丈夫背叛了他的前妻和你在一起，那么他可能也會(huì)背叛你和別人在一起。 3．保持適度的欲望 被別人吸引是正常的，但不要有所行動(dòng)。讓你的配偶知道你對(duì)一個(gè)名人很著迷也未嘗不可，但不要讓眼睛總停留在每個(gè)從你身邊走過(guò)的美女身上。 4．不要將你婚姻的不幸告訴同事 他們可能煩于聽(tīng)你說(shuō)這些，為了敷衍你，他們會(huì)說(shuō)：“如果不愛(ài)她了，就離婚吧”。或者，這可能會(huì)拉近你和另一個(gè)對(duì)婚姻狀況不滿(mǎn)的人的關(guān)系。 5．如果你動(dòng)了搞婚外情的念頭，最明智的做法是告訴你的配偶。 皮特曼建議，“你可以這樣說(shuō)，‘我覺(jué)得我們好像一年都沒(méi)有性生活了。’”他們可以采用這種方式處理好曖昧關(guān)系，從而防止婚外情。 6．遠(yuǎn)離電腦 如果你和某個(gè)網(wǎng)友聯(lián)系密切，這可是個(gè)危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)。將更多的注意力放在和配偶的關(guān)系上。 |
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