手機(jī)版
Yes! People who don't like themselves are a pain in the neck!
Usually, people with a poor self-image use one of two irritating strategies. They either:
a) criticize you a lot or
b) they criticize themselves a lot.
STRATEGY A: They criticize you a lot. They figure that by criticizing other people they can feel better about themselves.
Let's take Fred, who feels inferior. Fred thinks he has a big nose and piggy eyes. He also secretly feels a bit stupid.
So what's his strategy to feel better about himself? He criticizes all his friends. He has names for them like "Flathead", "Chicken Legs" and "Dogbrain". Whenever someone else makes a mistake, he announces it to the whole class. (He probably doesn't even realize he criticizes people—or why he does it.)
If you have parents, friends or brothers and sisters who don't like themselves—they might criticize you and everyone around them. Just remember that they criticize you because they have a problem. If you remember that they are actually hurting inside, you won't get so upset by their behaviour.
STRATEGY B: Some people who don't like themselves criticize themselves a lot. They use reverse psychology...
Take Mary who doesn't like herself. She's always telling you, "You are prettier than me. You are smarter. Nobody likes me." She's hoping that you will reply, "No Mary! You are clever. You are beautiful." After a while, people like Mary get on your nerves!
In a nutshell
When we don't like ourselves, we irritate other people. We also put ourselves through a lot of stress. When we accept ourselves a little better, we don't play these games.
How Can I Like Myself﹖
In our hearts, most of us believe we should be doing better. We think that we should have gotten higher grades. We want to be popular and hang out with the "in" crowd. We feel we don't measure up to our parents' expectations. Our parents help to confirm this idea when they ask, "Why can't you be more like your brother?"
Whenever you are feeling low, be your own best friend. Accept that, up to now, you have lived your life the best way you know how. No one sets out to screw up their life! Like anyone, you've done the odd stupid thing. With more information you'll likely do better in the future.
Liking yourself means forgiving yourself. If you have made some serious mistakes, if you have hurt some people—and yourself—feeling guilty won't help.
If you are feeling guilty about something, you have already suffered enough. Being guilty for another six months won't help anybody.
Forget perfection and aim for improvement.
It's a funny thing. When you forgive yourself for your own mistakes, you automatically begin to let others off the hook for the same things.
"But I＇m Not Brilliant..."
You might look at yourself and say, "I'm not as beautiful as my sister, I'm not as talented as my friends and I'm not brilliant at anything! How can I feel good about me?"
Fact: Nobody is good at everything and most of us have those thoughts!
But here's the lowdown! Talent and beauty are very useful—but there are plenty of talented and beautiful people around whom we don't necessarily admire. And some of them are a pan in the butt!
The qualities most of us value above all others are honesty, courage, persistence, generosity and humility. Take a look at this list and you'll find something interesting. You aren't born with these things. You develop them. Anyone can have them! If you want self-respect, and respect from others, you don't have to be an Einstein or a super-model.
You simply work at developing your own honesty, determination, generosity, humility and courage. It is called "character".
In a nutshell
How you feel about yourself is in your hands.
確實(shí)如此！不喜歡自己的人很討厭！
通常，自我感覺不好的人會(huì)采用兩種策略，要么老是挑剔別人，要么總是挑剔自己。
策略一：老是挑剔別人。他們以為挑別人的錯(cuò)就能自我感覺良好。
比如說(shuō)弗雷德吧，他就覺得自己不如別人。弗雷德感到自己長(zhǎng)了一個(gè)大鼻子、兩只豬眼睛，還暗自感覺腦子有點(diǎn)笨。
那他想感覺好一點(diǎn)怎么辦呢？于是就挑所有朋友的毛病，給他們起一些怪名字，什么“平頭”啊，“雞腿”啊，“狗腦”啊等等。每當(dāng)有人犯錯(cuò)誤，他就對(duì)全班同學(xué)宣布。（他很可能壓根兒就沒意識(shí)到在批評(píng)別人，或者為什么要這么做。）
如果你父母、朋友或兄弟姊妹不喜歡自己，他們可能挑剔你和身邊的每一個(gè)人。請(qǐng)記住，他們挑剔你是因?yàn)樗麄冇袉?wèn)題。其實(shí)他們內(nèi)心有傷痛，記住這一點(diǎn)，你就不會(huì)對(duì)他們的行為感到特別心煩了。
策略二：有些不喜歡自己的人老說(shuō)自己不好。他們的心理正好相反。
拿瑪麗來(lái)說(shuō)吧，她就不喜歡自己。她總對(duì)別人說(shuō)，“你比我漂亮。你比我聰明。誰(shuí)都不喜歡我。”她心里其實(shí)希望對(duì)方這樣回答，“不對(duì)，瑪麗！你很聰明，很漂亮。”不用多久，瑪麗這種人就會(huì)令人生厭。
簡(jiǎn)言之
不喜歡自己，就會(huì)去煩別人。同時(shí)自身也會(huì)承受很大的壓力。對(duì)自己好一點(diǎn)，就不會(huì)去玩那些煩人的把戲了。
怎樣才能喜歡自己？
內(nèi)心里，大多數(shù)人都認(rèn)為自己應(yīng)該比現(xiàn)在強(qiáng)。我們認(rèn)為考試分?jǐn)?shù)應(yīng)該再高一些。我們想受人歡迎，跟那些“時(shí)髦的”人在一起。我們感到達(dá)不到父母的期望。父母也證實(shí)了這一點(diǎn)。他們會(huì)問(wèn)，“你就不能向你哥哥多學(xué)一點(diǎn)？”
無(wú)論何時(shí)你感覺不良，你要做自己最親密的朋友。要承認(rèn)到目前為止，你是在以你所知的最佳方式生活。誰(shuí)都不會(huì)成心破壞自己的生活。你跟別人一樣做了些奇怪而愚蠢的事。你如果知道得多一些，將來(lái)就會(huì)做得好一些。
喜歡自己意味著原諒自己。如果你犯了嚴(yán)重的錯(cuò)誤，如果你傷害了別人，傷害了自己，內(nèi)疚是不管用的。
如果你為某事感到內(nèi)疚，你已經(jīng)受到了足夠的折磨。再內(nèi)疚半年，對(duì)人對(duì)己都無(wú)濟(jì)于事。
忘記完善，立志改善
這是很有趣的一件事。一旦你原諒自己的過(guò)錯(cuò)，就會(huì)自動(dòng)不再追究別人同樣的錯(cuò)誤。
“但是我不很出色……”
你也許會(huì)將自己審視一番，說(shuō)，“我沒姐姐那么漂亮，也沒朋友那么聰明，我哪方面都不出色！叫我怎么感覺良好？”
事實(shí)是：沒有誰(shuí)是萬(wàn)能的，而且大多數(shù)人都有你這種想法。
不過(guò)真相是這樣的！才智和美貌很有用，但是聰明漂亮的人我們并不一定就羨慕，這樣的人在我們周圍大有人在。再說(shuō)有些人不過(guò)是徒有虛名而已！
大多數(shù)人最看重的品質(zhì)是誠(chéng)實(shí)、勇敢、頑強(qiáng)、慷慨和謙遜。只要看看這一串詞語(yǔ)，就能發(fā)現(xiàn)一件有趣的事。這些品質(zhì)不是與生俱來(lái)的，是后天培養(yǎng)的。人人都能擁有！想自重并受人尊重，不一定非得是愛因斯坦或超級(jí)名模。
你只需努力培養(yǎng)自己的誠(chéng)實(shí)、堅(jiān)毅、慷慨、謙遜和勇敢就行了。這就叫“品格”。
簡(jiǎn)言之
自我感覺如何全看你如何把握
